Real Life Monsters!

That’s right, Monsters DO exist!  I have listed some pictures below, all of which in my opinion are REAL monsters, living in our world today.  Sleep well tonight…bwahahahaha!

This is a 24 foot crocodile that was killing off African villagers.  The Army had to come in and kill this monster.  A 21 footer was killing villagers in the Phillipines, which they caught, and actually released into the wild.  My own opinion – once a croc reaches over 20 feet and has tasted humans – don’t let them go.

This is some kind of weird thing that lives in the ocean.  All I know is if I saw one while swimming, I would freak out.

Not sure I would hold this bad boy spider crab like that, even if it WAS dead.  Spiders and crabs tend to creep me out anyway, and this thing is just too big for comfort.

That is a giant coconut crab.  Again, if I was taking out the trash and saw that thing, I would run off screaming and call animal control.  It looks more alien than natural creature in my opinion.

Giant Isopods are armed cockroaches that crawl along the bottom of the ocean eating dead whales, dolphins, etc.  They shred them with their claws on eat them.  Kind of a four foot long sea cockroach on steroids.  My own theory – alien scouts, waiting for the mother ship to arrive with more of them to take over the world.  Time to call the Sea Orkin Man.

Enough Calamari to feed all the Italians for a month.  Giant Squid!  Brings HP Lovecrafts’ Call Of Cthulhu to life for me.

That is a giant version of the common earwig.  It’s amazing how something you would just normally squash without a thought causes a bit more cautionary behavior whenever it is jumbo dimensions!  Also, no matter how disgusting the bug, someone is willing to hold it, and reality contestants will eat it for a chance of 15 minutes of fame.

This tiny ocean dwelling creature, the hydrothermal worm, was captured on an electron microscope. It is magnified 525 times!  Thank God it is not that size in the wild.

Don’t be fooled by its tiny size, its got the will and the stuff to rip you to bones.  This particular cannibal lurks in the oceans at depths greater than 4 miles and has diamond-sharp teeth to cut through steel thread.

Another giant squid I believe, but nice and red.  Maybe with the blood of its victims?

The Great White Shark, nature’s best killing machine.  What list would be complete without it, especially with Jaws and its sequels.  Are we on what, Jaws 80 now?

Yes, I know it is just a mole, but up close it looks like some freaky sci-fi monster.  The big open mouth, the huge claws.  Even at its relatively small size, I wouldn’t want to get near one.  Too creepy…

And finally, the worst monster of all…

Starbucks!  They have spread over the map like locusts, everywhere they go they addict people to caffeine in hundreds of yummy flavors.  The real horror is when you realize you are paying $5 for 20 cents worth of water and ingredients – but you can’t stop – you don’t even WANT to stop!  It’s worse than Invasion of the Bodysnatchers.  At least in that film, people tried to avoid the pods, not so with Starbucks…  People line up around the block for their Venti Caramel Macchiatos and their Lattes with a touch of cinnamon, nutmeg and vanilla.  People behind on their rent and in real fear of eviction can still be seen wandering into their barrista, needing a fix, somehow scrounging up the money to fulfill their need, throwing basics like housing to the wind…

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7 Comments

Filed under Animals, Humor and Observations

7 responses to “Real Life Monsters!

  1. Penny Bradley

    I see a common thread through the list of things you consider monsters . . . . Man eaters, and 6 or 8 legged things [especially oversized ones].

    Of course, the last one is one of the most benign of corporations making us crave things we don’t need to spend money we can’t afford. 😉

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    • I actually found out why I have arachnaphobia (fear of spiders) through going to a counselor. I dug up a repressed memory of our Dad stopping the car in the middle of a migration of thousands of tarantulas in the desert. They were jumping on the hood, the windshield, you could hear them pop under the tires when he moved. He kept laughing and threatening to open the door. I was pretty terrified. Not sure how old I was then, I think around 4 or 5 while we were in Lancaster, California. You might remember the incident differently since you were older than me.

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  2. Becky B

    I love that Starbucks was included……a corporate monster that has become a necessary evil for many.

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  3. Penny Bradley

    If I remember correctly, we were on a family trip to go rock hunting. Horse Canyon near Tehachapi, or possibly the Calico Mountains. Yeah, he had a mean streak in his sense of humor and it irritated him when we were afraid.
    My fears [spiders and close spaces] are based on being locked into a closet for punishment. Robert and I had gotten to where we would shake from being “spanked” too much, so Mom told him he couldn’t spank us. We got the closet instead. I kept telling them there were black widows. I was finally able to show them to Mom. I still have nightmares.

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  4. pittsburghsteelergal

    they look like scientologist members…. lol…. i agree with guy that said once a reptile eats a human they need to get rid of them….

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  5. Pete

    You failed biology I take it. True, crocs are dangerous, but the six gill shark was dying. As for the giant Japanese spider crab, you were supposed put it in a pot of hot water, yum. The coconut crab is the largest of the hermit crabs, supposedly good to eat. The giant isopod is a relative of the shrimp and edible, but no relative of the cockroach. The giant squid, like all cephalopods has copper instead of iron in his blood, making it blue or green, not red. The red color is camouflage. The other big squid may be the colossal squid, again the red color has nothing to do with his blood. The giant earwig is interesting, like the giant australian cockroach probably would make a good pet. Unlike some cretins I don’t automatically squash leggy things without need. My wife will agree with you about the nasty coffee starbucks makes though.

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  6. Stir

    I appreciate your sense of humour. I will be exploring this blog further, that I came across while googling for cannibal + calico climbing in Nevada.

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