For a bit of retro-humor, here are some advertisements and products from years gone by…
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- Accidental discharge impossible!
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- My teeth hurt, better rub some coke on them…
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- They still have these.
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- Use your child’s toy to measure nuclear fall-out!
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- I’ll have my scotch straight up out of the tube please.
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- Now we call them introverts.
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- Like there aren’t enough real cats.
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- I see some burns coming on.
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- Also known as getting in a hammock the wrong way.
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- I could use those for a plague doctor costume.
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- Electric corsets – what could go wrong?
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- That actually looks kind of good.
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- Exercise your eyes!
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- No need for this once we get fast food, TV and couches.
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- Don’t stop at bald – really humiliate yourself wearing an electric Pope hat!
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- That might actually feel nice the day after.
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- Lets squirt lethal pesticide all over the house.
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- Animal Magnetism
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- Chinny, chin chin
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- Those look…stupid…
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- Sex carpets
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- Get your baby eating meat right away!
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- Lube your Cube!
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- Orgy – the game. As far as I see the rules, you mix partners, get them drunk, then the fun begins. Not sure why you buy the game…
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- It’s Sonny Bono!
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- Dimple machine! Girls with them hate them, those without want them. It’s the whole straight versus curly hair.
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- The face of the man is more scary to me. He looks like a burn ward victim smoking a cigarette.
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- For when you are too lazy to add a pillow or tilt your book.
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- Walk around with your ashes right in front of you. One cough, laugh or sneeze…
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- Your hose will be invisible!
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- Shower and don’t mess up your perm!
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- Discontinued after each user crashed and burned.
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- Be a dude, get dude facial hair.
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- Radio hats in case you still have people talking to you.
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- The massage finger – (for your gums…right…)
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- How to get that natural sunburn glow on your baby
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- Men of action zipper front. Uh, perhaps the zipper would have been better on the side…
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- Wear a hole pack of cigarettes on your head!
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- Looks perfectly safe. Strap your best friend to the outside of your rapidly speeding car. What could go wrong?
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- Cure disease by placing a barrel on your head and bathing.
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- I get the invention, but who was demanding square eggs?
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- The perfect chauvanist pig accessory, wall mounted heads built to look like your sexual conquests.
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- Your whole family can play while Mom sews your clothing
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- Wonder Sauna pants – wonder how they ever got made.
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- Nothing says snazzy swimswear like wooden slats
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- “Give her a timely reminder” wow, subtle.
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- Nothing like a baby putting a heavy glass bottle up to his teeth.
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- Not sure if this is supposed to make us want our wives to forget something…
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- Ahh…the good old days… (my wife beats me about the head and shoulders as I type…
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- Sixties and Seventies, hard to believe how much culture has shifted
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- Total, so you can clean the house and look good for the man when he comes home.
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- But appliances so your wife can get more done.
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- Star Cola earlier, no reason to wait for birth
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- Not sure blowing smoke in a woman’s face ever worked.
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- Doctors smoke unfiltered camels! None of them are here to repeat that I am confident
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- Give her a hoover for a happy wife to get those floors clean
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- Mommy, smoke another cigarette, you’re not yourself without your nicotine and tar
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- The Ghost of Christmas past
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- Presidents chose Chesterfields
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- Don’t open beer with your oil can cutter, use this new beer can cutter.
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- Yes, even a woman can open this bottle, all by her lonesome.
Michael Bradley - Time Traveler 