Tag Archives: grumpy neighbors

It is 105 degrees outside here on the surface of Hell in Phoenix, Arizona.  My homeowner’s association – evil minions – insist my trees and other plants not hang over the sidewalk.  You would think there were high power lines or a bike path.  Nope – just one angry old man who lives two houses down and complains if he has to move one foot out of the way for a limb while walking in the mornings.

So, here I am using pruning shears and a green limb saw on a pole to cut the thorny, spindly limbs of my palo verde tree, entwined with the rare flowering of my century plant.  I got half way done before fear of imminent heat stroke sent me scurrying indoors for water and air conditioning.  The 77 degree house, about thirty degrees cooler, feels great.  That is until I realize my electric bill during the summer runs $500 to $1,000 per month…

Palo Verde Tree in bloom. Most of the time just spindly green limbs.

Due to this heat and anger infused fugue state, I have a catharsis.  Yes, trees and plants are like hair – they never grow where you want them to and you have to cut them constantly for them to look decent.  The recent storm dropped my favorite twenty foot high palm tree smack onto my hot tub.  The plants around the pool insist on dying or looking scraggly.  The plants in front, where the HOA Nazis investigate every hour tend to grow at a verdant jungle pace as if Mother Nature herself blessed them or they were super seeds found at a strange radioactive site.

It is with dread I realize I must go out into the furnace another time today to finish the mutilation of my vegetation to please the codger down the street.  Thoughts of suing the HOA for differential enforcement and harrassment swell in my mind.  Unfortunately, that means more work and aggravation and the last time I did that I ended up as HOA President for fourteen consecutive terms.  People get less time for violent crimes.

I hope you have enjoyed my rant, rare as these are on my blog.  As they say, misery loves company.  Perhaps my suffering can become your salve.