I read a report today that Super Bowl Sunday now exceeds every other day for calorie consumption EXCEPT Thanksgiving. That got me to wondering, how a relatively new sport phenomenon could impact so much of America. First, more people celebrate Thanksgiving, so those at Super Bowl Sunday parties are eating more per capita than the thankful ones. I attribute it to a number of factors. One, America is so rich, we have less thankful people. You scrape together a harvest that might keep you fed through the cold winter months, having seen half your people die off in the past, and you are ready to celebrate. Heck, invite the natives, break out the beer, and throw a party. Thank God that you will make it alive another year – what better reason for a bash? And yes, even today, Puritans and Amish drink more beer per capita than the rest of us. It’s why they put into shore where they did, the beer was gone.
Today, Thanksgiving is that uncomfortable family get together. It’s bad enough to have to spend time with your family, but before the football games, it was the dread silence and conversation. Years of contempt you have built up, waiting for release. Most of us knew we would survive with enough food, so we focus on our rivalries and bitterness with relatives, not on thanking God. Besides, today, few people have traditional families. You have his, hers, ours, kids, ex-families, step families, in-laws, out-laws, you can keep track of baseball statistics easier than your own family tree. Someone has to organize, find a place, get people together, get food, and be prepared for the usual family fights.
For the Super Bowl – all you need is beer, wings, pizza and big screen TV. You don’t even need enough seats, standing and the floor work. You can buy the food and beverages – you don’t have to make anything. You can even tell people to bring their own. If people piss you off, you just leave! You get to pick your invites and have actual friends – not family! Yep, Super Bowl Sunday has wider, and more lasting appeal in today’s America.
My tradition – a pizza made with all sharp cheddar cheese (no mozzarella) pepperoni, dried salami, and olives. If I want extra briny I go with the green olives instead of black. Not for everyone, but I love it. It has enough caloric value to feed Somalia for a week. I also like boneless wings. I hate picking skin, veins and meat off a little piece of bone. But boneless – oh yeah! In fact, I don’t even know if it is chicken. It could be rat, cat, horse, who knows? Basically, you deep fry batter and toss hot sauce on it and I’m game. Just no bones… The thick, hot, but not so hot you can’t feel your lips sauce too, not that weak orange oily stuff you get all too often.
What is my Super Bowl Sunday prediction – A full belly, trying not to pay too much attention to the GoDaddy or Adriana Lima commercials while my wife watches me like a hawk, and fun with friends. My favorite commercial was years ago, I think by Etrade. It was a monkey banging on a plastic bucket in a garage while two people watched. It ended – “we just wasted $1 million, what do you do with YOUR money?” A classic wth moment.
Michael Bradley - Time Traveler 