Monthly Archives: May 2012

Climbing Nepal – Great Adventure with Beautiful People or Russian Roullette with God?

Suffering from low self-esteem?  Find  yourself a highly qualified professional, who will work through these issues thougtfully and gently?  Please do NOT decide to climb Everest or put up other bucket list items that will insure the early passing of both your money , and your life.  The whole bucket list thing – over-rated.

Mount Everest – Also known as tall, freezing cold with frequent hallucinations and coughing up blood.

So I see this story:

MT. EVEREST, Nepal –  Mountain climber Jon Kedrowski was one of the lucky ones. He didn’t make it to the top of Mount Everest last weekend, but he made it back alive — and told a harrowing tale of how severe weather trapped several climbers and left at least 4 dead.

The weather and overcrowding at the tallest peak made for a frightening scene after climbers attempted to use a brief window of good weather in an otherwise poor climbing season.

“I counted four people that had either died that evening or probably got disoriented or basically passed out from their summit attempts on the 19th.” Kedrowski of Colorado told Fox affiliate KDVR.

Strong winds of up to 100 MPH moved in and trapped dozens of climbers.

“[One man] was basically hallucinating, he took his hat off, his gloves were thrown away and then he kind of reached out and looked at me … he kind of reached out to me, kind of in a zombie-like fashion,” Kedrowski says.

The first clear weather conditions of the spring climbing season were Friday and Saturday, but a windstorm swept the higher altitudes of the mountain by Saturday afternoon, said Gyanendra Shrestha of Nepal’s Mountaineering Department.

An estimated 150 climbers reached the summit on either day, most of them on Saturday.

“There was a traffic jam on the mountain on Saturday. Climbers were still heading to the summit as late as 2:30 p.m., which is quite dangerous,” Nepali mountaineering official Gyanendra Shrestha said

The victims have been identified as Ebehard Schaaf, 61, a German medical doctor; Sriya Shah, 33, a Nepali-born Canadian woman; Song Wondin, a 44-year-old man from South Korea; and Wen Ryi Ha, 55, of China, according to officials.

The climbing season runs from late March to the first week in June, and the Nepalese government places no limits on how many climbers can be on the 29,035-foot mountain. The season’s first clear conditions were on Friday and Saturday, but that window already was closing by Saturday afternoon with a windstorm at higher altitudes, Shrestha said.

On May 10, 1996, eight people died on what is believed to be the worst day on Everest, as described in Jon Krakauer’s best-seller “Into Thin Air.” The main reason for that disaster was said to be that climbers who started their ascents late in the day were caught in a snow storm that swept the mountain in the afternoon.

This year, the danger has been compounded by an unusually light snowfall, renowned Everest climber Conrad Anker said.

“Because there is little fresh snow, icy surfaces on the slopes make climbing more difficult and dangerous,” Anker said, adding that “the snow acts as glue, stopping rocks from falling on the climbers.”

Well-known expedition organizer Russell Brice cited the mountain’s precarious condition in his decision in early May to cancel this year’s climb for more than 60 clients.

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/world/2012/05/21/at-least-4-mount-everest-climbers-dead-officials-say-as-climber-describes/?test=latestnews#ixzz1vaYhPAkV

At one point when I was much younger, a group of us at work were, like hey, let’s go climb  a mountain.  I thought dinner and a movie sounded good, drinks maybe.  NOPE.  Every weekend was mountain climbing.  We live in Arizona so they did the Mt.  Humphrey’s Peak  in Arizona a lot, which is a round 12,637 feet.  Not  normal feet either, but legs sinking to your knees while you breathe in freezing air and pray for it to stop.  This was not challenging enough for them so they want to do overnighters in El Capitan in California.  My girlish screams informed them they would be one lessperson on the trip for this bit of fun.

El Cap, getting your pitons in place to sleep your 18 inch by 6 foot bed.  The carry bags, those are to poop in and put garbage in which they drop off this side of all those looking up.  Don’t get me wrong – proffs to people who do this stuff.  But if you just are bored and need ideas, call some people, try some less dramatic stuff.

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Lots of Dogs for Lots of Fun on Monday

 

 

The only thing cuter than one cute dog – is you guessed it – more than one.  Let these packs of pooches cheer you up today.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Funny Headlines – Part 2

Who would have known that posting shots of funny headlines would be so popular?  Thanks and a call out to those over at http://www.bootlehistory.co.uk/forum who linked to my prior headline story which was the intitial impetus to get the viral snowball going on the topic.  People seemed to enjoy ,and after all, that is the whole point of this blog. I also wanted to celebrated getting my short story on Dark Matter published in the latest issue of ConNotations NewsZine.  I will update my currect and future projects tomorrow, since many current have been published now and many future have not yet been talked about.

 

 

 

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Things you would REALLY like to have!

Sometimes it is hard to get that perfect present for the one you love, and our commercial society has millions of supposed buying opportunties from anniversaries, special dates, Valentines Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Christmas, New Years Day, Easter and on and on.  So here are some awesome award winning gifts for others – or for yourself:

The eight wheeler car!  Tell me you would not have a permanent smile drivng this one around the neighborhood and parking at work.  Forget Octomom, you’d have Octobahn!

That’s right, A Heaven Welcome Basket.  Sorry to my friends who think it is stupid to believe in a Creator or old man in the sky.  You will not only miss out on this entry gift (with a lightsaber!) but will also miss out on – ETERNAL LIFE – the all time favorite on wish lists every where.  Not too late for you.   There is this really cool guide book out there called the Bible.

Everyone has cats and dogs.  You can get a Rottweiler or Pit Bull for protection sure, but how about a Snapping Turtle Tank?  Talk about being master of the neighborhood block watch.  Sure a few fingers might be lost until those snot nosed kids learn not to try to pet it or offer it lettuce, but that is just its way of bringing about order.  The best part is that the twin barrels not only fire grenades (smoke, incendiary and anti-personnel, but can also be used as flamethrowers.  The napalm is loaded under the shell for extra protection.

There can be only one – fluffy omelot and flame broiled steak.  Sure, a sword looks better, but after hacking and slashing all day, you belly will appreciate the Magical Skillet +5, double damage versus monsters with special diets.

Forget the Ferrari.  Nothing says I own this place, this club, this whole freakin’ planet like pulling up in your own Imperial Star Destroyer.  Some may point out the nice blue Super Star Destroyers, but the Emperor and Darth Vader like to cruise in them, and I want to give them their profs.

They should update Christmas Story from a Red Ryder BB-Gun to a Rocket Pack.  Have Mom say, “I don’t know, I heard those were dangerous.  I wouldn’t want you to accidentally fly to Australia…”

NO Photo Radar!  I prefer being pulled over by a real police inspector.

All the fiber you need in your diet just once.  Although I would not recommend the escalator.  Looks like a job for the elevator.

My favorite, I will simply refer to as the argument stopper.  “I said No! Mr. Taliban Reprensentative.  I said NO! Iran, North Korea…etc.  Plus I am pretty sure you show up in that and most villagers will try to guess what you want and just throw valuables to you.

My List of fun gifts to keep in mind for my Hump Day – Wednesday.  I would gladly accept any of them lol.

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For Your Monday Fun – Dogs with Captions and/or Wording!

Here are some hopefully fun pictures involving real or cartoon dogs to get your week at work started off great –

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On Watches…

A man with one watch knows what time it is.  A man with two, is never quite certain.

Even a Broken Watch is correct twice a day.  Just like most people.

The perfect watch always shows the correct time, but is useless:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To a Time Traveler – A proper watch needs to have a date and year, a nob for parallel universe reference, a non-standard Sol/Earth rotational and size co-efficient, and infinite power source – and at least one alarm with a snooze button on it.  Perhap, the snooze buttom could transport you backward in the time continuum, so you not only get the extra five minutes, but end up still being on time…

It would also be great to have a device that could take control of other people’s watch to make the screen say cool things.  About to be in a shoot out?  Say, “Mister, better look at yer watch”  He looks down and it says “Your time is up!” Instead of its usual hands and such – you bet he turns tail runnin’!  Or about to aks the big question, have your spouse to be’s watch flash at her – What are We Waiting For?  Now is the Time!

Maybe better with just the pic?  Yeah, my thought too.  Need to dial it back a notch…

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More Myths Busted – “The Troubled Artist” and “Inspiration through the Use of Drugs”

While writers usually lie to millions of folks – it is what fiction is by definition, they are usually more honest amongst their own inner circle of writers.  You don’t get to that spot easily.  You spend ups and downs, you show your acceptance and they show theirs.  Over time, life reveals people to you.  Then, we few, we happy few, we Band of Brothers…(sorry, I break off easily into Henry V for no reason at all).  But I digress…

Medicines that Affect Your Brain

They may lie to their spouses, friends, dates, roommates, etc, but when it comes right down to it, stoned and drunk people are thinking very little of their next book idea, and even less about actually writing something on it.   Recreationally, they may turn to such things as an excuse to chase the Green Genie or to release their imagination, most of the time they are pissed off they don’t have ideas they think are actually good enough to justify they hard work of writing them down – so they get drunk.

That does not mean that their aren’t stars who are awesome stoned, I wonder what Morrison would have been like if he had been sober?  Stephen King was a master novelist with or without drinks and drugs.  Would Cujo have been better if he could remember having written most of it?  I am only speaking of novelists for the most part here, not performance art, poetry, and other things that I think actually were created to do while high.

In my own experience, I have been on Morphine and Percoset for some time now, legally, through doctors and pain specialists.  First, for two months waiting to excise my dead bones.  The pain from the bones was too much for me to get things done.  With the pain killers, the pain was dulled enough I could write, but my memory came and went on small items.  (Wow, I wrote that same scene in TWO chapters back to back, not just one…)  Now, I have had my dead upper femur, joint and hip removed.  I am still on post op morphine and percoset and I have to tell you – Choice A – pain from Hell you would take anything to stop, Choice B – still a lot of pain but bizarre bad dreams, sweats, and a general lack of ideas that when written on paper, form a sentence.

I am recovering, thanks to God, your prayers, well wishers, my wife who takes care of me and my wonderful doctors, so I hope this recovery time is short.  I have lucid times totalling about 6 hours per day in which I get my contract work done, but not much on my own fun stuff.  I grew up in the drug scene in California in the 60s and 70s but did not participate much.  For a few years around college I drank too much but that was about it.  Still, then and now, I know many who choose the “lifestyle”.  Those who take me into their confidence have all so far agreed that they usually get high to avoid stressing on trying to write when they are stuck.  Very few get their ideas in a clowded state.

The Troubled Artist

I think this myth is a correlation mistaken as a causal relationship.  Forgive me my economics…  To make it clearer – Study shows that drinking diet sodas makes people fatter!  We see that crap all the time.  Then, if they even print it, you find the study.  1,200 people were interviewed.  Those who said they drank more diet sodas were 40% fatter than those that did not.  That is a correlation mistaken as a causal relationship.   I have no doubt that fat people drink more diet soda.  They refuse themselves the sweeter cola because they are fat!  My hypothesis for the same data is that fat people, trying to maintain or lose weight, choose to drink diet sodas.  It is physically impossible to provide a human body an object containing zero calories and expect it to gain weight.

I think a lot of Artists and Novelists who are outstanding live ‘troubled lives”.  I would say that half of people working as dishwashers at bad restaurants lead “troubled” lives.  I would guess nearly 100% of prostitutes or people starving in Africa live “troubled lives.”  So why then are there not agents and publishers seeking out those people to write them books?  I think it is simple correlation.  Most people lead troubled lives, some happen to be authors and poets (I mean by some arguments only around 2,000 novelists at any time are living off their book income).  I reject that troubles make you write better – because you “know.”  Unless you sing or write the Blues, and then any fool knows it is the truth.

Again, within the inner circle of published authors, you are more likely to hear about illness, surgeries, dying loved ones, kids or parents with problems, money issues, cars that stopped working, looking for a job, housing issues, etc.  I have not once heard one say, I am so glad I have all these troubles, because my writing is showing so much more emotional depth now.  Usually, the say, “that project is on hold for days, months, years, because of…hope I can get back on it… may never finish it…

My Writing Mode

Sitting in front of the computer screen, an ice cold Diet Pepsi (because I am fat I guess), a good mood, a clear head, my three dogs lying on my feet or the feet of my wife next  to me on her own computer.  That is hitting on all cylinders for me.  Pain, troubles, drugs, drama are all the opposite of what let’s me write.

I had a post much earlier on this blog on those who die too young due to the “troubled lifestyle”.  River Phoenix, Whitney Houston, Amy Winehouse, Heath Ledger, Michael Jackson and on and on.  As a tip from a fellow writer.  It won’t help your writing.  If you want to write dark stuff, you will experience enough in this world and see enough to have plenty of material.

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