Category Archives: Humor and Observations

March 11, 2012 · 1:48 pm

Pink Slime in Our Meat – It’s Already Here

As a follow-up to my post on stem cell meat, here is a link to a story on pink slime:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/05/pink-slime-for-school-lun_n_1322325.html

It is a product so vile, that even Taco Bell and McDonalds refuse to serve it in their beef.  By using it, you can cut the cost of a pound of hamburger by 3 cents.  It is made from all the stuff normally thrown away from slaughtered animals.  Parts that would disgust you to hear their names.  It is turned into a semi-edible goop by treating it with ammonia (the stuff that smells like urine) then turning it first into a soup, then into a slime.  You then mix this delectable treat with real hamburger.

So who would buy such a horrible thing?  The federal government, for our children in the free breakfast program.  The same people who took away a Mom packed lunch because it did not have a vegetable in it and gave her kids chicken McNuggets instead.  Soylent pink for all our kids in school.  Yummy.  Just wait till the feds are controlling your healthcare too…

How about a nice bowl of ammonia soaked meat by products?  Even a cartoon character will have a hard time convincing kids this is tasty.

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March 10, 2012 · 11:10 am

Stem Cell Burgers – Will YOU Eat Them?

The world’s first “test-tube” meat, a hamburger made from a cow’s stem cells, will be produced this fall, announced Dutch scientist Mark Post Chair of the Physiology department atMaastricht Universityin theNetherlands.  His goal and that of other similar researchers is to take animal stem cells and “grow” meat in the laboratory.

This would eliminate the need to raise, feed, water and slaughter animals across the world in order to produce a meat supply.  By eliminating the need to raise chickens, pigs, cows, and other animals, world food supplies can be dramatically increased while reducing acreage needed for such activities.  The first test tube hamburger made from stem cells took around $250,000 to produce; but as the science becomes more efficient, it is likely that large supplies of meat could be served across the world that never breathed, walked, had sunshine or grazed.  They spent their entire “life” in a laboratory.

Theoretically, such meat will be similar to normal animals, but the concept of stem cell meat is disturbing to some, including this author.  Having grown up on a dairy myself, I know that the taste of beef and milk are highly influence by an animal’s environment and food.  Like us, cows are what they eat, both nature and nurture.  Milkweed, if consumed by a cow, will cause sour milk. Kobe beef is the result of massaged cows force fed beer each day.  How will laboratory beef differ?  Will there be missing enzymes, tastes or items that take a real animal to produce?

Will PETA, vegans, or vegetarians choose to eat meat if no animal died to produce it?  As strange as all these questions sound, it is my prediction that within just ten to twenty years stem cell meat products will be as common as irradiated vegetables and genetically engineered corn and soy bean seeds are now.  Will the organic movement embrace the raising of real animals or will they endorse suffering free grown tissue?

The old joke that this “tastes like chicken” might actually even become true for chicken that was never born or lived but is still served by a future KFC battered up and spiced and dropped in a bucket at a drive through in your near future.  In fact, you can get all types of unique sizes and shapes, no more breast, thigh, wing, drumstick – you can grow chicken in the shape of alphabet soup if you want.  Think of the possibilities…

Yummy, do you want mustard and mayo with that?

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March 8, 2012 · 5:05 pm

Pride versus Humility

Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. – The Bible, Proverbs 16:18 KJV.

Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud.  – The Bible, Proverbs 16:19

I have often seen in my own life that when I get all cocky and arrogant and full of myself, God is always there to remind me that is not the case.  I have grown proud on many occasions, only to be humbled rather harshly.  Now some might attribute this to kharma, back luck, or some other source than God.  In fact, many might not agree that God acts in such a way, but I do.  The reason is, I am always a much better person and much happier when I am humble.  I have seen this in my own family, my friends, and my offspring.  When we are haughty, we will soon be humbled.  When we are humble, we live better.

This has become such a fact to me that many of my relatives and friends are probably bored and annoyed with me saying it.  Every time I fear that I, or someone close to me, is getting too arrogant, I say, Pride goeth before the Fall.  I know it’s not a proper translation, but I like the way it rolls of the tongue.  I always mean it as a friendly caution, whether to me, or to others.  Believe me, it is all too common a problem for me personally, so I remind myself the most.

I have seen many politicians that get full of themselves, only to go down in flames in scandal.  The same for famous sports or movie folks.  Congressman Wiener, Lindsay Lohan, Brett Fahvre, Donald Trump – hey we could make a list as long as the census couldn’t we?

I have some friends that are much nicer than I am.  In fact, nearly everyone is nicer than I am.  I grew up abused and I grew a thick, cynical crusty shell.  My friend Frank Chow,  my recent friend Cameron Milkins – they are people I aspire to be like.  They face life with humility and it makes them wonderful people. 

Pride in your children, in a job well done, in a successful project are all good things.  But thinking too highly of yourself, not realizing how lucky you are to live today in a relatively free society, to not worry about food and shelter, your talents you were born with – those things are not from you, they are from God.  In Henry V, my favorite Shakespeare play, King Henry, after winning the battle of Agincourt (the most lopsided victory since the 300 Spartans), decrees that any man who claims credit and does not give all credit to God, would be slain.  His army of some 5,000 diseased troops faced around 40,000 heavily armed and fresh Frenchman.  He lost less than 100, they lost over 10,000 and surrendered.  In those highest moments in our lives is when we must remain the most humble and thankful.

I have so many blessings in my life, my wife, my children, my friends.  I have been given talents and limitations in my life for which I am thankful.  I am not usually ‘preachy’ like this but watching the politicians in all parties during this election cycle has made me sick of the whole thing.  In America especially, the media likes to build up a hero then crush them.  Charlie Sheen is one example.  Ashton Kutchner was a hero for marrying an older woman.  Now he is a bastard for leaving her.  When I was growing up, my history books told me our founding fathers were brave, meaningful people who risked their lives to build a free country.  Now history books say they were arrogant rich white men oppressing the Native Americans and allowing slavery.

It is a cautionary note which leads me to write this.  For myself, for everyone, our lives are brief.  We are given our talents and our limits.  It is how we live that is truly ours.  Are we honest, forgiving, kind, loving of our neighbors?  Or are we self-centered, greedy and only looking out for ourselves?  Every day I say to myself –

Pride goes before the fall…

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March 7, 2012 · 1:55 pm

The Nerd is Strong in This One! (My Nerd Credentials)

Sometimes people wonder how deep the nerd goes in me.  Think bottomless pit.  I started reading very young and always loved Conan, Lord of The Rings, Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser, Dune, Chronicles of Amber and other fantasy and sci-fi.  I started out with bookshelf wargames, the ones with square paper counters and hex maps.  We played one called Gettysburg where the map was ten feet by thirty feet in size and there was one counter for every 100 troops in the battle.  It took around two weeks per turn, moving the counters with a long dowel.  Then I went to miniature games.  Little lead (then pewter when lead was banned) figurines and a ruler.  Then computers started to come out.  At first, I railed against the demise of pen and paper, or nights with friends eating Doritos and pizza.

I believe my oldest sister had a degree in computer science in 1976, I got mine in 1984.  In high school, I was the class of 1981.  I put together my first computer in 1977 and then taught the teachers how to operate them when some were donated.  The computer lab was a trailer with 4 early Apples.  We used to have to go to an arcade and use quarters to play video games.  I had three world championships back then, in Space Invaders, Battlezone and Robotron.  The first two I kind of cheated because I read the code and figured out to beat them.  There was no code protection back then and I knew assembly and machine languages along with COBOL and FORTRAN.  Basic had not been invented until later lol.  On Robotron I was actually filmed playing it for nearly 8 hours non-stop by the local TV station reporting on the flash in the pan phenomenon of video games.  When I left after 8 hours, I had rolled the machines 385 levels 3 times and had 55 free men left lol.  I would have played longer but I was hungry and tired.

I started wargaming at a young age, with counters, then miniatures.  I played the original Chainmail game which later became Dungeons and Dragons.  I was a Dungeon Master and wrote for Dragon Magazine for about twelve articles.  I created the famous half-dragon half-man creatures lol.  We played pong, nintendo, intellivision, anything we could.
When I got into the Air Force, they came out with Starflight and Pirates, and I lost tons of sleep.  Then I was addicted to Evercrack (Everquest), the best game in history and that is where I started being guild master and doing 60 hour gaming weeks.  Played almost every game since then and I have 123 Steam games right now, which is about half the games I have loaded up.

At one point I was the first person to make 100 million credits in Star Wars Galaxies with my character Meridian Trivector, and the second to create my own city, Mos Nuevo on Tattooine.  I have a five year character on EVE Online, I have been the leader or officer in over a dozen player organizations in Everquest, WoW, SWG, LoTRo, DAOC, etc.  I am ranked number 6 out of several hundred thousand players in DoD:S.  I was ranked in the top 5 of Age of Conan when I played it.

But then, when games started counting your playing time, I realized I was up to over 70 hours per week.  It seemed like an aweful waste of life at some point.  Now I play maybe ten hours a week.  I try to avoid the really addictive MMORPGs (Massively Multi-player Online Role Playing Games) that can suck the life out of you.  Many player associations require that you play a minimum of 50 hours per week in one game to even qualify to join them.

Now, I a ‘cas’, a derogatory term for a casual player.  Also known as someone who has a real life as well.  Although in my real life I also dress up like I live in the 1880s for Steampunk events, I go to ComicCons and I write science fiction.  So my nerd credentials are quite solid, despite my moving into finance, economics and later executive positions.  I have watched or read nearly every sci-fi movie or book out there – most of which are not that good.  To me science fiction and fantasy are like sex.  When its good its fantastic, and when its bad, it is still worth doing.

There is just one person who keeps me from nerding out too much – my wife.  At a recent party, I recognized a MechWarrior miniature and she said, “You are such a nerd!”  I mean, who wouldn’t know about MechWarriors and Tribes?  Anyway, posted below are some pics with me and my bride of 27 years.  I fear I am rubbing off on her though, she just got done playing a Zombie game on Google+, but she quit because she could not figure out how to get more energy…such a NOOB!

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March 6, 2012 · 12:37 pm

I Have the Best Doctor Ever!

I just wanted to give a shout out to my doctor, Dr. Deborah Solomon, who has taken care of me medically since 2003, despite all my unhealthy living and ups and downs.  She always takes the time to explain things, to show support, and genuinely cares.  Her staff is pretty amazing too.  I would recommend you all use her as well – but then it would be harder for me to get appointments if she gets really busy.

As some of you know, my latest health challenge is asceptic necrosis, probably caused by the steroids I took for years for asthma.  Luckily, they have non steroidal stuff now that I am on and I have lost fifty pounds.  I have another fifty to go.  Unluckily, the steroids caused bone death in my left hip and femur.  I was waiting on the results for my right hip and could not get them.  I wanted the best surgeon in town, but could not see him until late April.  So, I go to Dr. Solomon and voila, while I am there she gets my results from the other doctor, and my right hip is fine.  Then she calls and gets me an appointment with the surgeon I want – for 90 minutes after I leave her office.

She is also taking care of my pain with meds until I can get the hip fixed.  In an era where medical professionals are mostly rude and give you the bums rush, it is so refreshing to have a great doctor who will take their time to actually give you high quality care.  My doctor in 2002 through Aetna was horrible, so I won’t mention their name.  I was lucky from 1989 to 2001 to have Dr. Richard Alm with Cigna, who was also a good doctor.  They say when you move somewhere to get yourself a good doctor, a good auto mechanic, and a good lawyer.  I have one at least.

This is not my own hip, but mine looks similar in the MRI:

Note the nice round white bone on the left – that is normal, like my right femur.  The one on the right of the picture, all black and dead, that is kind of what my left one looks like.   It actually hurts more than you would think.  Kind of like a broken tooth, but all over your hip and back.  I should have the surgery some time in the late March to early May period.  Wish me luck.  No more metal detectors for me – all pat downs.  Too bad they don’t have super models at the TSA…

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March 4, 2012 · 5:27 pm

I Filled my Tank and My Car Doubled in Value!

I am not that old, but I remember 23 cents a gallon gas where a guy would pump it for you, wash your windshield, check your tires and oil, and give you six times green stamps to boot.  I first saw the joke “I Filled my Tank and My Car Doubled in Value!” on the Red Green Show, a strange Canadian comedy I highly recommend if you ever channel surf and see it on.  It displayed a beat up van getting filled and the gas was worth more than the van.  Nowadays, that is increasingly true for all of us.  How do high gas prices affect us?  My own son has to consider his budget before he drives over from Scottsdale to North Phoenix to visit.  Prices are expected to get higher and higher as our President continues to give hundreds of billions to failing solar panel makers but will not let us drill for new oil or build new nuclear plants.  Eventually, we will all be stuck within one square mile, walking, eating, living, unable to afford to move about.

Some of you will remember recent Republican Candidate Herman Cain’s 9-9-9 tax proposal.  This appears to be Obama’s 9-9-9 proposal for his second term if he makes it:

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March 2, 2012 · 10:55 pm

Comic Conventions in Afghanistan Are no Fun!

I have been going to comic conventions to promote my work and do workshops and panels.  I saw this picture on the web.  I am not sure comic book conventions work with burkhas.

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March 1, 2012 · 12:45 am

Are you Too Big to Fail?

First President Bush, then President Obama, have pursued a policy of “too big to fail.”  The first TARP, or Troubled Asset Relief Program set aside $700 Billion of your tax dollars to bail out AIG and others who had lost money investing on poor mortgages.  They were simply “too big to fail.”  Since then, the government has bailed out wall street investment firms, banks, and car manufacturers.  After bailing out General Motors, the government gave away ownership shares to union workers.  If GM had gone through normal bankruptcy first, those union contracts and debt would have been washed away the stockholders, such as your retirement fund, would still own the company.  But we spent $50 billion to bail them out, give the company to the union, then still had to have the go through bankruptcy.  All of the executives at these “too big to fail” organizations made more in bonuses than most of us will make in our lifetimes.

Unfortunately, most of us footing the bill for those “too big to fail” are small enough that our failure means nothing.  Most Americans who have pensions or investment funds have lost 40% or so of their net worth.  Last year 1.6 million bankruptcies were filed.  100,000 were businesses that were small enough to fail.  1.5 million were people small enough to fail.  Last year, 250,000 people lost their homes to foreclosure.  Did the banks lose money on those foreclosed homes?  Well, ninety percent was covered by mortgage insurance – which taxpayers bailed out the insurers because they were too big to fail.  The other ten percent would have hurt the banks – but you guessed it – they were too big to fail.

Meanwhile, the federal government annual debt now exceeds $1 trillion per year.  The government needs more money and more taxes for even more programs.  Why?  Because the federal government is too important and too big to fail.  Over 36% of federal workers now make over $100,000 per year while the average salary is over $76,000.  The average for taxpayers who pay for them is just over $40,000.  We selfish people who are small enough to fail need to pay for them so they can run our lives better than we would left to our own devices.  Those who have worked so hard to have nice things need to get rid of them and live on a smaller budget so that those like banks, investment houses and the federal government can spend all they desire.  Unfortunately, I am on the list of small enough to fail and I believe those who read this blog site are all with me in that same boat.

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February 28, 2012 · 6:37 pm

What is a Successful Life?

What is it that would make you look back on your death bed and know you had a successful life?  I have often wondered about this question and I am still not sure what the correct answer is for me or anyone else.  Society, through media and advertising tells us success is being famous, beautiful, rich, and having the latest gadgets.  But when I see people who have fame, beauty, riches and toys, so many are unhappy.  (note my earlier story on Another Unnecessary Death).  Others are into the Buddhist theory that we keep reaching one level of spiritual growth in each life until we finally reach nirvana, the perfect soul.

I know that family and loving your offspring is important and gives me great depth of satisfaction.  My own family was close but I was physically abused growing up abandoned by many of them.  I can’t solve that, but I can be close to my own kids.  But what of those without kids?  Does their life have no meaning?

Some turn to fitness, diets, and exercise.  It’s all they seem to think or talk about.  They look great for much of their lives, maybe all of it, then they die from something.  Did a life of good nutrition and relative health make them successful?  Some are hedonists, not believing in anything greater than themselves and they just do what feels good.  But even hedonists I know still get depressed and feel a longing for more.  Sex, drugs and rock and roll does not satisfy either.

Many of us, including myself, turn to religion for meaning.  My most fervent prayer is always, “I believe, help my disbelief.”  I always wish I could have been a monk, devoted to God in some enclave at peace.  Or a great missionary, bringing others to faith and perhaps dying a martyr, full of faith.  But as I look at my life, I have pieces of many things, half-completed spiritual and secular goals.  I can never be the complete success in my life if I never define what that means.  So many of us go through life never thinking beyond the monthly mortgage, our next meal, or the latest problems at work.  I want to be different.  I want to know my goal and whether I have achieved it.  At 48, I am still not sure what my goal is.

I have long joked that on my death bed I will look up, announce, “I finally understand what I want to do.”  Then fall over dead.  Life seems that way to me.  Success is almost simply figuring out what your goal should have been.  I enjoy life and every moment is precious to me.  I love my wife, my kids, my dogs, my friends.  In the long history of the world I am blessed to live in America, live in freedom, not be starving, and have most material things I could ever want.  Perhaps it is the lack of a daily struggle simply to survive that leads us to wonder is there more.

Maybe Maslow had it right with his hierarchy of needs.  Survival, shelter, etc., until we reach the frustration with having met all those needs and now we want meaning.  What are your thoughts?  Remember, a friend of mine once told me, “Comments are the new hugs!”  Let me know what a successful life means to you, or if you are still searching for that yourselves, like I am.

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February 27, 2012 · 5:16 pm

Please Help the Invisible Man

Many of you may have seen Hollywood depictions or read stories of the Invisible Man which make his life look glorious, or dangerous.  The truth is the medical condition that causes complete invisibility can be quite debilitating.  It is socially isolating, makes relationships difficult, and job seeking nearly impossible.  The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) sadly left this condition out of the legislation and the Social Security Administration still does not recognize this disability.  Even those who qualify for Medicare find there are no effective treatments available for this rare condition.  One such sufferer is Frank Jenkinson, pictured below.  Please, if you come across Frank, or any other sufferers of invisibility, don’t walk on by like they aren’t even there.  It may look like they aren’t there, but trust me – they are.  Give today, help solve the invisible crisis.

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