Category Archives: Writing

Actors, Models and Filmmaker Needed

A friend of mine who is a fellow novelist in the Phoenix, Arizona area is looking to do a book cover and a small promo film for their book.  This is their description of who they need:

I need 4 models/actors: 

1) Girl, early to mid twenties, natural redhead (ginger). Long hair, thin. 

2) Boy, early to mid twenties, light hair and light eyes. Thin. 

3) Man, late twenties to early/mid thirties, built physique, long-ish hair. A little beard stubble (romance hero-type). Australian accent preferred, or at least the ability to fake it for 3 lines. 

4) Man, mid to late thirties, African American, very built. Jamaican accent preferred, or the ability to fake it for just one line. There will be some acting, but not a lot of speaking. 

Most of the speaking will be in voiceovers (mostly by the girl, who will also be the narrator). We’ll also do still shots with the girl (for the book cover). 

I already have a still photographer (a friend) who has agreed to help. 

Filmmaker – I need someone to film the video portions…a filmmaker with equipment (camera, lights, etc.) and with some know-how on setting up shots. I’d also need him/her to allow me to use the raw footage. My budget is tight, but I am willing to pay the actors and the crew, along with giving them credit on the trailer, and on my website, blog, Twitter, Facebook, and the novel, etc.

If you, or someone you know is interested, please contact me at eiverness@cox.net.

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17 Euphemisms for Sex From the 1800s

17 Euphemisms for Sex From the 1800s

Gail Carriger shared this article with me on Facebook.  She writes awesome Steampunk novels including the Parasol Protectorate series.  I encourage you to read them.  You can also read mine if you wish, set in the late Victorian period as well.

While shoe-horning these into conversation today might prove difficult, these 17 synonyms for sex were used often enough in 19th-century England to earn a place in the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, a book for upper-crust Britons who had no idea what the proles were talking about.

1. AMOROUS CONGRESS

To say two people were engaged in the amorous congress was by far the most polite option on the list, oftentimes serving as the definition for other, less discreet synonyms.

2. BASKET-MAKING

“Those two recently opened a basket-making shop.” From a method of making children’s stockings, in which knitting the heel is called basket-making.

3. BREAD AND BUTTER

One on top of the other. “Rumor has it he found her bread and butter fashion with the neighbor.”

4. BRUSH

“Yeah, we had a brush once.” The emphasis here is on brevity; just a fling, no big deal.

5. CLICKET

“They left together, so they’re probably at clicket.” This was originally used only for foxes, but became less specific as more and more phrases for doing it were needed.

6. FACE-MAKING

Aside from the obvious, this also comes from “making children,” because babies have faces.

7. BLANKET HORNPIPE

There is probably no way to use this in seriousness or discreetly, but there you have it.

8. BLOW THE GROUNSILS

“Grounsils” are foundation timbers, so “on the floor.”

9. CONVIVIAL SOCIETY

Similar to “amorous congress” in that this was a gentler term suitable for even the noble classes to use, even if they only whispered it.

10. TAKE A FLYER

“Flyers” being shoes, this is “dressed, or without going to bed.”

11. GREEN GOWN

Giving a girl a green gown can only happen in the grass.

12. LOBSTER KETTLE

A woman who sleeps with soldiers coming in at port is said to “make a lobster kettle” of herself.

13. MELTING MOMENTS

Those shared by “a fat man and woman in amorous congress.”

14. PULLY HAWLY

A game at pully hawly is a series of affairs.

15. ST. GEORGE

In the story of St. George and the Dragon, the dragon reared up from the lake to tower over the saint. “Playing at St. George” casts a woman as the dragon and puts her on top.

16. A STITCH

Similar to having a brush, “making a stitch” is a casual affair.

17. TIFF

A tiff could be a minor argument or falling-out, as we know it. In the 19th century, it was also a term for eating or drinking between meals, or in this case, a quickie.

Read the full text here: http://mentalfloss.com/article/12399/17-euphemisms-sex-1800s#ixzz2bFhAPP5J
–brought to you by mental_floss!

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Rules for Writers

Rules for Writers

  • Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
  • Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
  • And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
  • It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
  • Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat.)
  • Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
  • Be more or less specific.
  • Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
  • Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
  • No sentence fragments.
  • Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
  • Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
  • Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
  • One should NEVER generalize.
  • Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
  • Don’t use no double negatives.
  • Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
  • One-word sentences? Eliminate.
  • Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
  • The passive voice is to be ignored.
  • Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
  • Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
  • DO NOT use exclamation points and all caps to emphasize!!!
  • Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
  • Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.
  • Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
  • Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
  • If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
  • Puns are for children, not groan readers.
  • Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
  • Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
  • Who needs rhetorical questions?
  • Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
  • The passive voice should never be used.
  • Do not put statements in the negative form.
  • Verbs have to agree with their subjects.
  • A writer must not shift your point of view.
  • Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
  • Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
  • If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
  • Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
  • Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
  • Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
  • Always pick on the correct idiom.
  • The adverb always follows the verb.
  • Be careful to use the rite homonym.
  • Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

Thank you to Jenni Larsen for submitting these rules to curiouser.co.uk.

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I Will Be Signing books at Hob Nobs This Friday

I will be at Hob Nobs Cafe and Spirits in Phoenix on Friday, August 2nd, signing copies of The Travelers’ Club and the Ghost Ship, The Travelers’ Club – Fire and Ash, Twisted History and Twisted Nightmares.  Come join me for this First Friday event.  They will have a live band playing starting at 8 pm.  I will be just inside the entrance starting around 7:30 pm.  I look forward to seeing you there!

hob nobs

Hob Nobs – 149 W McDowell Rd, Phoenix, AZ 85003

 

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The Future – Part One

I plan to write about the future for a few blog posts – I’m not sure how many.  This is not so much to predict the future as to extrapolate it.  With a graduate degree in Economics, it is hard not to employ that training to other things, like the future.  In Economics we use the latin term ceteris paribus, meaning “all other things held equal.”  For instance, if you change the monetary supply but everything else stays the same, what happens to the economy?  The thing is, nothing ever stays the same, but you have to pretend it will to isolate various factors.  It is also true that no economic model can consistently beat the ‘no change’ scenario.  If you simply predict things will be the same next period as they are this period, you will be correct most of the time.  A group of economists, making predictions and taking the mean results can beat this curve, even though individuals cannot.

Future

So, my prediction of the future is based on ceteris paribus and the no change scenario.  I simply continue the line with the same slope as we currently see it.  If you start back in 1800 and track technological innovations, absorption by society, and societal and political changes, we seem to be on a pretty steady line.  If we keep on that developmental line, then predicting the future is not as difficult as you might think.

To take one variable at a time – which never happens of course – I will address only certain aspects of the future, as I see it happening, in each post.  Here goes:

Religion – Religion is on a steady diminishing curve.  Even many religions themselves predict the eventual falling away of mankind from the path of righteousness.  These trends will lead to immense conflicts in the near future.  Those who are willing to die to restore faith will increasingly feel compelled to act to stave off atheism and moral relativism.  To be clear, I do not support such violence and conflict, I simply see it on the horizon.  The Arab Summer is a good example, where theologically based groups strive against secular groups for the control of Egypt, Syria, Libya and Turkey, even as a I write this.  There will likely be persecution of believers and persecution by believers.  Last year, over 100,000 Christians world-wide were killed for their beliefs.  If you look at all religions, millions are currently persecuted and jailed for their beliefs.  At the same time, theological groups like the Taliban torture and kill those who do not follow their version of belief.

believer vs non-believer

Government – Governments are increasing in size, cost and control daily.  Record amounts of the gross national product of countries go the government.  In the United States, in the last ten years alone, the government has taken control of banking, auto manufacturing, healthcare, student loans, welfare and education.  Increasingly the 10th Amendment is ignored and the “patchwork” of state laws are replaced by federal laws.  Internationally, the movement is to control people, resources and the economy through large centralized governments.  The private sector will get smaller and more regulated resulting in slower economic growth, higher unemployment and larger welfare roles.  Historically, these trends will continue until either an economic collapse, a war, or civil uprising.  I do not know how much longer the world can sustain rapidly growing central governments.  In this technological age, the new secret police to enforce government will are cameras, drones, email, electronic searches, phone records, gps and the fact that none of us have “real money.”  Our entire identity, wealth and liberty is kept in the hands of the government through our electronic signatures.

big government

Technology – Nothing we know now will count in twenty years.  People will have either a chip in their head, or a flexible plastic screen that has all phone, email, computing, movies and TV on it.  They can do virtually anything, anywhere.  That means they won’t drive to work, to theaters, to stores, to libraries or anyplace else they can access at home.  3d printing will allow them to produce their own products and even food at home.  They will only leave to be ‘live’ with others.  Any brick and mortar locations will be gone in the next generation.  Why have libraries?  Why have physical schools?  Why build anything if you can deliver the same product or service digitally?

When I was young there were no ATM machines.  You had to go to a bank between 10 am and 3 pm with a passbook.  If you lost your passbook, you were screwed.  We froze water and used ice picks to break it up for drinks.  There were no cell phones, no microwave ovens, no internet.  Computers came out while I was in junior high school and only us nerds could use them.  TV screens were heavy cathode ray tubes and there were three channels – ABC, CBS, and NBC.  Theaters had only one screen and one movie they would show for weeks.  Cars used leaded gasoline for 23 cents per gallon and you got savings stamps with them.  Cigarette ads were all over TV, magazines and billboards.  The number one selling magazine was TV Guide and people got their news at 6 pm or from the newspaper.  We burned leaves in our front yards, went shooting squirrels with shotguns unsupervised as children, and only the rich could fly by airplane.

future-tech-class-1

I bring up this nostalgic look because the world today with the power of a super computer in your smart fun or computer pad happened virtually overnight.  The trend for technology is to speed up, not slow down, in its advance.  Look for 3d printed organs, cloning, spare parts for human, and other ethic laden medical issues.  Half of us die from heart disease, another fourth from cancer.  As those are treated, the incidence of Alzheimers’ and dementia will grow astronomically.  What will the world be like when people live past 100 routinely?  What will the layered generations do with technology absorption issues?

Toddlers today can be seen tapping their coloring books and picture books and looking puzzled.  Why?  They are so used to I-pads and other devices being interactive that the concept of a book is strange to them.  At just two years old they have already grasped what many of us cannot.  Things are different.  They are going to get much MORE different and very quickly.

 

That ends part one.  I hope you enjoyed it and it proved to be thought provoking.  I will do part two soon…

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Latest Issue of The WOD Magazine

Get your online copy free here:

TheWOD_Issue1-4_Color_LowRes (2)

Yours truly has a serial short story, movie reviews and other things in there this month.

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Birthday Present

By the way, if you are interested in wishing me Happy Birthday in a REALLY cool way…

Please check out my first book for just 99 cents on Kindle:  (That way you will give yourself the gift of a fun story as well.)  The book is an adventure story like Jules Verne, HG Wells, Sherlock Holmes, rated PG, with a fun science fiction twist referred to by many as “Steampunk.”

http://www.amazon.com/Travelers-Club-Ghost-Ship-ebook/dp/B0060QYM2K/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1373423033&sr=8-1&keywords=michael+bradley+travelers+club

kindle gs

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Reasons Readers Stop Reading a Book

My fellow authors and writers – this infographic can be instructional for you.  The number one reason readers toss books aside – SLOW OR BORING.  Yep, you have to hook them in the first few chapters.  See below for more good statistical information:

reasons people stop reading a book

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Science Fiction Serial Story – Part Two

If you missed Part One, search for “The Drifter” in the Search block on my home page.

The Drifter

A Sci-Fi Serial Story

By Michael Bradley

Part Two

Tony paused, staring at the light stick in his hand as he illuminated the large screen in front.  Where am I?  He looked behind him at the amphitheater filled with his graduate students.  His TA, Monica Salazar, stood operating the computer panel.  She gave him a look of concern.

Tony remembered now, he was explaining the latest problems experienced with neural retrograde physiology.  It was easier to modify children than to remove the troublesome thoughts and memories from an adult.  The class murmured as he continued to remain silent.

“That is all class.  Remember, the hurdle we face for peaceful coexistence is no longer in our next generation.  Our children will be better than us.  We must rise to the challenge to make ourselves better as well.  Go ahead now, we are stopping early.”  Tony put down the light stick and hurried from the auditorium.  Monica followed close behind.

“Professor Perez, are you alright?”

He remembered her too, but not young like this.  Yes, she had been his brilliant assistant, but now she was his lab manager.  She had just told him twenty years from now to think about his index finger.  Why?

“Yes, I’m fine.  I figured it out, the block, the problem!”  Tony Perez rushed to his office and started clicking away on his screen.

Monica looked on in awe as she saw him display the formula, the chemical compounds and the surgical procedures to isolate conflict and expiate them from the adult mind.  “Professor, that looks like it will work.  You have made peace on Earth possible in our life times.”  She forgot decorum and jumped up and down, then lunged onto him, giving him a crushing hug.

“Monica, easy now, people will talk.”  Her hug was so fierce she scooted his chair against the desk, crimping his finger between them.  He held it up, his index finger was bleeding.  My index finger?

Monica saw blood on the tip of his finger.  “Oh, I am so sorry, let me get the first aid kit.”

Tony smiled, “No need Monica.  You know, this is the only time I ever hurt this finger?”

She looked at him puzzled.

Tony explained, “I think I understand my index finger now.”

“Those are some deep thoughts Tony, you understand your finger?”  The Earth President laughed at the control wheel of his private plane.  “You crack me up Tony.  This vacation in Maine is going to do us both a world of good.”

Tony was back in the co-pilot chair on the sleek jet, flying over New York City, the World Headquarters, with his friend.  Tony’s mind reeled.  It was just eighteen years ago, back in my office, or was it?  

“So Tony, now that we have world peace and are colonizing space, what do you have planned?  I mean, it must be kind of a let down, solving world peace and all.”  The Earth President laughed.  “I mean if I did something like that in my first term, I don’t know what I would run on next.  Maybe it’s different for you brainy types.”

“Yeah…maybe…”  Tony tried to get some perspective.  He looked at his index finger.  It had a tiny scar barely visible.

The President looked over, smiling, “I thought you said you had that finger figured out?”

Tony turned, “Yeah, it’s just…”

“It’s just what?”  The rescue responder was shaking him.

Tony looked at himself, he was in the same clothing, but it was torn and tattered.  “Who am I?  What happened?”

“He’s a bit confused, let’s get him into the rescue pod and over to the PeaceCenter.  The Peacekeepers will fix him up in no time.”

Tony protested.  “Wait!  My name is Tony Perez, I am a friend of the Earth President.”

The crew laughed.  “Yeah, and I’m Moon President, that guy there is Mars President.  Come on fellah, you ain’t the inventor of world peace and you sure ain’t with the President.  His plane crashed yesterday and he’s dead.”

Tony felt tears drip down his face.  “Dead?  I was just there a minute ago?”

He felt a hard shelled case click and hiss as it was sealed over him.  Outside he heard one more comment before the sleep gas took him.

“Yeah, this guy is definitely brain scrambled.”

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Independence Day – Original Short Story

The Second Most Important July 4th

by Michael Bradley

The face in the mirror was dark, furrowed by stress and grief, and grown old.  The man had dreamt he would die in office in this dark estate ironically called cheerily as the White House.  In the next room over his beloved wife chanted in a shameful séance with the hope of contacting the spirit of their son Willie who had passed beyond the veil last year at the young age of eleven.  The loss of this second of their four children had pushed his wife past her thinly held sanity and at times he worried she would never come back fully to normality.

He moved from the mirror and looked out over the lawn from the veranda.  It was dark, but the sheep ambled about, half-heartedly eating the early summer grass, failing under the heat and humidity stifling the swampy city during the day.  He wondered when the bloodshed would end.  Surely this calamity had befallen this once great union due to turning from God Almighty and continuing to practice the sins of enslaving our fellow man.  Perhaps his own willingness to preserve the union even if it meant preserving slavery had contributed to the amount of blood that must be shed to purge this evil guilt from the nation.

Abraham… The Father of a Great Nation.  How poorly named am I if I cannot bring this terrible war to an end?  Lincoln looked into the darkness, wondering what he could do next.  There would be an election next year.  After years of battle losses he stood little hope of victory.  The war that was supposed to end in months was three years old and showed no sign of stopping.  If he lost his election, slavery would continue, the union would dissolve, and all this death would be meaningless.

Less than ninety years ago those brave God fearing individuals had risen up and declared this nation free of tyranny on July 4, 1776.  They too had bled for the cause and spent years in doubt to bring forth this new nation conceived in liberty for all.  Lincoln could not help but ponder this on July 3, 1863.  What have I to celebrate on the morrow?

Abraham Lincoln 16th President of the United States

*****

Far away to the west, on a promontory high over the Mississippi River another man stood in front of a mirror, a small shaving mirror jarred by another artillery shell falling on his makeshift shelter in a cut-out mud cave.  His image was gaunt and skeletal.  His hand shook from hunger and thirst as much as the mirror did from percussive explosions.  He wanted to take his time to look proper, shave, and put on his least dirty uniform.

John had called for reinforcements countless times and there had been no answer of late.  Earlier on he had been encouraged to hold fast, to maintain the Gibraltar of the West here in Vicksburg.  Now he found himself surrounded and Union gunboats pounded from the river while Grant’s men assaulted the town non-stop with artillery shells and sniper rounds.  The people of the town and his own men had demonstrated exemplary honor and bravery.  But even that rarest of commodities was gone.

For a week now there had been no food.  The shoes, belts, and rats were the last to be eaten.  The horses had been killed and devoured over a month ago.  Despite the nearness to the huge river, fresh water was scarce.  High on a promontory overlooking a bend in the river, Vicksburg was great for defense but not for digging wells.  The constant shelling and lack of food made even a well digging detail deadly.  His men were nearly out of ammunition and the people of the town were living in caves on the hill, unable to survive in the burnt out buildings of what was once a town.

General John C. Pemberton had served in wars for the Union and was a Pennsylvania born man.  Despite that, he had resigned to join the Confederacy.  His two younger brothers fought for the Union and John knew that if he surrendered Vicksburg, many would claim he was a traitor.  Still, he could not bear to look at another child living in a dug-out mud hole, starving slowly because of his reticence.  What price honor if bought with the lives of his men and an entire civilian population?

Vicksburg

Vicksburg

*****

Five days ago the forty-eight year old general known as “the Snapping Turtle” had been placed in command of a beaten army.  The Army of the Potomac had lost every major engagement during the three years of the war and had revolving commanders as a result.  Disorganized and spread out, George had no time to do anything except assign corps and division commanders and pull his forces a bit closer together.  This force was the only defense between Confederate General Robert E. Lee and the Capitol at Washington.

George looked over the maps and dealt with receiving information and sending out orders in the midst of the largest battle of the war.  Two days ago, the Army of Northern Virginia made contact with his men and they were fighting a bloody duel near the town of Gettysburg.  If it was another loss, it could mean the loss of the entire war.  Just three days in charge and this happens.

The first day had gone for the rebels.  Still, despite urgings by some, he put it to his generals to vote in a public meeting on staying.  Afraid to be labeled cowards, they all voted to stay.  It is what George wanted, but he did not want anyone to be able to second guess if they lost.  He had interior lines, made so clearly important by the campaigns of Napoleon.  Each time Lee hit his lines he nearly broke through, but Meade was able to hold on by reinforcing that section.

Today his men seemed to have turned the tide.  Tens of thousands already lie dead and wounded for miles.  The scene was like Hell on Earth.  Despite the carnage the rebels would not stop.  This day, July 3rd, General George Meade could only look at his maps, move his troops, and hope they would hold.  His men were brave, they were here in force in good fortified lines, but could they hold after so many losses?

Battle of Gettysburg

Battle of Gettysburg

*****

The following day, Independence Day, President Abraham Lincoln went solemnly down the stairs of his residence to the telegraph room.  Despite the anger of the public, his generals and even his own cabinet, he took a personal hand in managing the war.  Several times per day he received dispatches from his generals and gave them ‘suggestions’ on what they should do.  He finally had generals in place that would fight.  Was it enough?

It was a shocking surprise.  The Confederates had surrendered Vicksburg to General Grant along with 30,000 rebel troops.  The Gibraltar of the West had fallen and the Mississippi was now a Union River.  The Confederacy was effectively cut in two.  General Pemberton had waited until July 4th to surrender in hopes of getting favorable terms on Independence Day.  Instead, General Grant had insisted on ‘unconditional surrender’ and it had been given.

President Lincoln allowed himself a broad smile that was all too rare for him in recent months.  More reports came in.  Victory at Gettysburg.  General Meade reports that the Army of Northern Virginia has been beaten in battle and is now retreating south back into Virginia.  The Capitol is safe; the Union holds the field, victory in the east for now.

Could it really be?  On this glorious Independence Day when the future of the nation was at its darkest, victory at Vicksburg and Gettysburg?  Lincoln leaped to his feet in relief and cheered.  The Union would persevere yet longer.  He might win his next election and finish this horrible conflict.  He would use the loss of so many lives as the catalyst to free those in bondage.  The war, and the nation, would serve a purpose.

american flag

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